Randomness

Where are you? I've been searching for you for a long time now. The scrape that rusted over time. The stinging sensation has been long gone. But where are you? My soul longs for you. Are we gonna leave behind the laughters? The broken promises that scattered all over the floor. The rain never cease to cry. But my tears had given up. You leave my heart floating, yet you always haunt me. Your eyes had become my eyes. Your world has become my own. I tried to escape, but how am I supposed to do that when you live inside me. Selfishly wanting me. Your cruel attempt to imprison me with your whispers. Yet, my mind searches for your lost soul. Secretly, I await for your return. A return that remains a mystery.
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So.. me and my emo-ness. pffft!

No one can beat MoS with her writings. She amaze me, really really amaze me. And her thoughts is like reading my own thoughts but in a more complex way..

I still remember the legends of old tribes when they lose their heads over love and die because of it. I hope we never become a legend for the same reason. Because dreams vanish away easily, especially those dreams where we have given our hand for someone to hold it. Oh, but love is long remembered, love never passes away, never fades. It is hard to find happiness when days are so short, man just continues to wander lost. I do not know when and I do not know where, but believe me, we shall meet in the world of secrets. Please understand me well, I need you. I have left my heart inside of you. My heart sleeps next to yours, in silent, non moving moment. It sleeps with you, can you feel it? In you, I dream of a peaceful harbour, but your dreams wind up your sails. Distances attract you. Your heart gives birth to restlessness that lives inside, and that safety you have is only a mask you put on for the world around you. I see you through and your mask hides nothing from me. I think that scares you sometimes. There is no mask you could have that I would not be able to see behind of what you are trying to hide. I never underestimate my intuition.

You need me to tell you all this and you will always need me.
You let me be there because you do not want me to be anywhere else.

Why do I always hesitate to put down my thoughts?

No idea. Hehe..

Anyhow, so I'm back blogging. I don't know for how long but I'm gonna write down the events that happened to me a few weeks ago.

Now, what had happened to me was unexpected but not impossible. See, I've never been confined in the hospital. So one day, I had a really painful stomach ache, and that night I was really, really horribly in so much pain. So I just tried a few meds to see which one would work. Eventually ponstan did since it's a pain reliever but that's just a reliever and does not mean the problem in my stomach was gone. I managed to do my everyday activity the next morning, and yes with my stomach still aching. My father, convinced me to have it checked out which I tried to wave off 'cause I didn't think it was THAT serious. Then the doctor broke the news to me. It was appendixities and I need to get surgery at once! Woah! Now being NOT in the hospital that has got something to do with me. I was really scared. I've never had any dextrose attached on me. Or get my blood pressure every minute. And the last time I had injection was when I was 10! So yeah, it all happened last week! Now I'm alright. The doctor who checked me out(no not in an affectionate way) envy my strength to fight over the pain( I managed the pain for 24 hours!). I guess I have a high toleration when it comes to pain. Yeah, not guess, I really do. =P

Anyhow, so back to school again. I hope this term I'd manage to pass all my subjects, 'cause really I'm getting tired of getting 5 in my card. Shit. Funny incident though last week which was saturday, just got out of the hospital that friday. Just because my psycho cousin decided to not enroll me and the payment needed to be settled that day or else my reservation would be gone. So I had to go to school myself and yes, with freshly operated stomach, I just had to. =/ When I got out of school premises, two students from UST came over to me while I'm panting 'cause my surgery really hurts. They asked questions about blogging and stuff. Interesting questions by the way. Like , why do I blog and do I use it for everyone to read or practice my writing skills etc. ?

So why do I blog? Simple answer, I use it to rant my arse out whenever I feel like it. Also to know myself better, which is true 'cause everytime I try to read my past entries I discover new things about me and it develops as time passes by. A mere reflection so to say. So I guess, blogging is just for my self and the benefits I get from it. Not for others and what they would think of my thoughts.

I guess that would be all for now.

*goes back blasting her t.A.T.u. CD* XD

3 days to go before the release of the new t.A.T.u. CD. I'm uberly excited!! ^_^