I just wanted to make them proud..

Today.. my life ended. I've hurt the person I love the most. The least thing I wanted to do, I did.. I don't know how I'd be able to face it all again..

I talked to my dad today. He showed me the email of my mom about her not inlove with him anymore. Then something caught my attention. Something that shattered my world.. She said, my elder sister and my elder brother are good people. They're born that way. And my dad's sharing of christian faith didn't influence them. But me and my youngest brother.. we're not good. We were never good. So I guess this is why no matter what I do I just can't please her. Until the time came that I just got tired of it all. But those words.. How can your own mother say those words. That we were never good. How? It's breaking my heart.. It's breaking my heart.. I just wanted her to be proud of me..


It's easier to run
Replacing this pain
with something more

It's easier to go
Than face all these
pain here all alone..

A thin line between love and hate..

I hate my mom.. I know I shouldn't but I really do.. She said she'd stop supporting me with my college. She didn't even bother asking me and what my side of story is! She believes those stupid rumors about me, she expects me to fucking graduate right away with my 5 year course. Well FUCK her! I don't need her money! Don't worry mom, once I find a way to finish my college, I'll suck those money right up your arse! Bitch!

Don't you just hate people in general? How they can be so malicious and hypocrite? I HATE PEOPLE! Good thing I'm a robot.. well with feelings.. =(

I don't know what to think anymore. I'm just so lucky I have my friends to back me up. And my brother would ask why my friends knows me better than they do. Yeah, keep askin!

Month..

Month I like best.. It's actually 2 months-- December and April

December because it's gloomy and cool. I like that. April because I get a longer school break. =P Plus it's my birthday month =D!!!

Least like is.. August. It brings back a sad memory.. Something regretful. Something I would never want to look back... But still I have to face.

But because of someone, I managed to get through. That someone would never ever leave me hanging. =)

I was never meant to be misled
Everything falls on its own they said
Nowhere else that I could call my home
Nowhere else for you and I to roam

Since I’ve left, they blamed it all on you
Denying what we believe is true
Living in your own sweet memory
Was not how I wanted to be seen

This love I've called my own
This life you've never known
Is now my one and all
Is now your one and all

They think we're crazy, though we stay strong
Giving in just makes you and me wrong
They bring us down but we still prevail
We wont stay locked up, away in jail

We wont stay locked up, away to die
We can’t prevent ourselves not to try
No matter what, our love will stay true
My love is only reserved for you

This love I've called my own
This life you've never known
Is now my one and all
Is now your one and all

Although I had my doubts
We made it through the fire
You are my one and all
Am I your one and all?